You Are Enough
This feels too vulnerable.
The thought of doing this makes me feel uncomfortable.
What if no one reads my posts?
What if I hurt someone else’s feelings with what I say?
Maybe this isn’t the right timing.
These are just a handful of the excuses I’ve been constantly speaking over this idea to start this blog. And believe me, they have been working for sometime now. But for whatever reason, I chose right now to physically sit down and type out this first post. While my son is napping and I’m curled up in bed with the initial intent to take a nap. I’ve had so many visions of how I would start this thing, but sitting here in bed at 2:00pm still in my pajamas wasn’t one of them!
The truth is, I’m afraid. I’m afraid of being vulnerable and rejected. I’m afraid of feeling irrelevant. I’m afraid of being a disappointment. All of these fears stem from events that have taken place over the course of my life. And those events are the things I feel like I am being called to share with you. For the last 6 years, I feel like the Lord has put it on my heart to share my testimony, but every time I sit down to do that, the task seems so daunting. Where do I start? Will it be too long? Will people even care to listen? How do I go about sharing it? And by the time I’ve listed all of these questions out in my head, I’m exhausted and decide its just not worth the effort.
But then, somewhere in the midst of this chaotic season we are in, the word obedience kept coming to the forefront of my mind. It would show up in a book I was reading or a sermon I was watching or a podcast I was listening to. Literally, it felt like God was screaming it in my face to the point where I couldn’t ignore it anymore. So here I am, putting my heart out on the line for whoever wants to listen. I’m here to tell you that you are enough. No matter what you have or haven’t done. No matter the choices you have made or the unfortunate cards you’ve been dealt. No matter what your current circumstances look like. You. Are. ENOUGH.
My story isn’t pretty. In fact, at times, it’s been quite ugly. There are going to be stories that I share on here that are going to be sad or awkward or uncomfortable. But in my short time here on Earth, I’ve found that its those stories that God likes to use for good. Those are the stories that I can look back on now and think, “Wow, that was rough when I was going through it, but I wouldn’t change it for the world.” Because, if I’m being totally candid, I would live those hardships over and over again if it would get me to the place I’m at right now. Not because its perfect, because believe me when I tell you it is most definitely not! But because I’ve learned that the seasons that are the ugliest, the ones that are so dark that you can’t see the light leading you out of them, those are the ones that the Lord will redeem for His glory.
And for some crazy reason, I feel like God is calling me to share my story for anyone willing and ready to receive it. So, buckle up folks! It’s going to be a beautiful (and most likely slightly awkward) ride! ;)
“Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything”. James 1:2-4
